Says Who?
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Are you looking for some friendly company to help you through the hell that we find ourselves in after the 2016 election? Dan Sinker and Maureen Johnson—one journalist and one author—try to figure out what the hell is going on. Maybe, together, they can figure it out (spoiler alert: probably not)! Why not grab your coffee (or something stronger) and pull up a chair?

SAYS WHO: it's not a podcast—it's a coping strategy.

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    Ep. 59: SAYS TWO! WITH ANA MARIE COX!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US! WE'RE TWO YEARS OLD!

    Yes, it's the Says Who two year anniversary show! This was never supposed to happen! We should have been done in 2016. But here we are, "celebrating" two years of doing whatever it is we do! And to celebrate with us, our first guest, Ana Marie Cox, joins us again to talk about where we're at. We talk service, politics, and beans.

    Also, Dan and Maureen have ACTUAL BIG NEWS TO SHARE. No, really. We have NEWS that will rock SaysWhovia to the core!

    PLUS! A book report on Bob Woodward's FEAR. We read it! We totally read it.

    And Dan has something to say about a toad? Toads are nice. That will be a fun story!

    It's just TWO MUCH. So come with us, SaysWhovians! Get a piece of cake!

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    Ep. 58: FALCON, RABBIT, SHARK

    It's a funny thing, recording a podcast every other week in 2018. You just never know. Maybe you record on a quiet Sunday night thinking that everything will be chill for a day or two and then EVERYTHING HAPPENS, EVERYTHING.

    It's September! Dan is back in Chicago! Maureen is...flat on her back in New York with the return of the Terrible Stomach Flu Or Some Kind Of Poisoning. To entertain Maureen as she is in her bed of pain, Dan recounts the many events that have transpired. Michael Cohen. Paul Manafort. The death of Senator McCain and McCain's posthumous message to Trump and America. The flag that went up and down and up and down. Trump tweeting...so much.

    And there's a new book coming! And it sounds like it is REALLY SOMETHING. Dan and Maureen read some of the previews. What DOES happen when you put a snake, a rat, a falcon, a rabbit, a shark and a seal in a zoo without walls? Who would do that? Is

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    Ep. 57: THE SAYS WHO SUMMER READING REPORT

    Hey! Anything interesting going on? Dan and Maureen have been off doing their summer homework. Dan is finishing up his trip around the country. Maureen has been in New York having stomach flu. Because of this, they recorded another Sunday Summer Special!

    Because nothing was going to happen between Sunday and Tuesday, right? RIGHT????

    So this episode is our BOOK REPORT on Unhinged! We read it so you didn't have to! Find out: who loves Don Jr. (hint: no one), the terrible process of getting on to The Apprentice, and how Omarosa hides things by the Diet Cokes! It's all terrible! All of it!

    But this isn't about terrible things. This is about looking forward to fall, focusing on coping, the Says Who Kindergarten, and finally getting that big money sponsor.

    Get back in the pool for one last splash before summer is over!

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    Ep. 56: MOUNTAIN DAN

    He's got a big beard, a skillet full of beans, a loyal dog, and he's in an Airstream trailer in the middle of Montana. It's MOUNTAIN DAN, and his sidekick, METROPOLITAN MAUREEN. Together, they solve crime!

    Okay. They don't solve crime. They record podcasts. And in Dan's case, they do it sitting on the floor of the trailer, by tethering a phone to a computer. This is the most rough and rustic Says Who yet--the last, fullest expression of summer. Dan is out experiencing America. Maureen is doing what she always does--sitting around in New York.

    What's going on? It's summer vacation. Neither of them know. Something about a jacket? Fuck everything, it's summer! And for no reason at all, Dan and Maureen are talking about survival. Namely, about what to do when The Monsters come and you have to raid a SuperTarget.

    Before the madness of the fall takes us, sit back and find out how long your hosts would last before being eaten by MAGA hat-wearing monsters. Pod Save America isn't giving you this kind of content, is it?

    Brought to you by Blue Apron: when the end times come, we'll mail you a potato.

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    Ep. 55: VLAD TO HAVE YOU

    Every time Dan and Maureen say that too much has happened in the two weeks since the last episode, but this time they mean it, they really, really do. Because it has been too much. When you try to drill down into it, you find there is no it and no drill and you've just been falling while pretending to drill like a CHUMP.

    But that won't stop Dan and Maureen. Why would they stop? Or did they mean to say why wouldn't they stop? lol. That's a Trump joke. Everything is funny now.

    Obviously, this is serious business so Dan and Maureen get right down to it with no hesitation. Right to the most important story of the past two weeks. We all know what that is. No need to even say it. Before it's all over, we'll talk about bad spying, Michael Cohen, Carter Page, and about what words mean. And pie. There's a whole bunch of stuff about pie. So many pies.

    Oh, and Russia and how the President is probably utterly compromised but hey, pie!

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    Ep. 54: INTO THE WOODS

    What's that sound coming from the trees? Why, it's Dan and Maureen, emerging in podcast form! Maureen was in England, doing more marriage things. She was in the English woods, where the WiFi is not so good. (Hence the delayed episode.) Dan is almost three weeks into his Airstream tour of America.

    So what have our travelers learned? Well, while Maureen was in England, it decided to fall apart. Brexit is not going well, and the government is splintering. England is also preparing for Trump's visit with a giant balloon!

    Meanwhile, Dan reflects on our nation from campsites and national parks. What is life like in a big metal box? Pretty good, as it turns out! Both Dan and Maureen are in a better mood than the last episode, but that is in Trump-adjusted terms. Also, both of them have a lot of mosquito bites.

    But what HAS been happening? The Supreme Court lost a justice, and the nominee is a spendy weirdo. Scott Pruitt, America's griftiest grifter, has been forced to leave office for the dumbest reason possible. Stormy Daniels is busted by the Boob Detectives on shady boob charges. Trump has a bad meet cute with NATO. And Maureen has another MONEYMAKER idea that cannot fail.

    The woods of Sayswhovia are lovely, dark, and deep. Follow us. Take our hand. Come into the trees. It's better in here. You'll never want to leave.

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    Ep. 53: THE DAY OF THE JACKET

    Yodelheeehoooo! Put on your hat because it's time for another trip up Bullshit Mountain with your pals Maureen and Dan. Both Maureen and Dan have done good Life Things in the last two weeks, but news gotta new and it continues to break headlines and spirits. Maureen is now married. Dan is cruising around America in a sweet airstream trailer. Trump is ripping families apart.

    While this episode was being recorded, news of the Muslim Ban broke in, so there is real time reaction. How do we do good things while bad things keep happening? This is a topic we keep coming back to.

    But there is wedding talk as well. Did Sam and Carter show up to grab Maureen before she could wed? Can Dan outrun current events by dragging his house behind a car? And what role did Blue Apron play in the events of the last week?

    Oh, and Melania's jacket. Yeah. Melania's jacket.

    Grab a buddy, Sayswhovians. We're starting the climb.

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    Ep. 52: BRIDE OF SAYS WHO with Peter Sagal

    DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG! It's WEDDING TIME at Says Who! Maureen is getting married and everything is fine. She has everything ready to go, nothing weird is happening in the world, and...

    Well, no. It's not exactly like that. But she is getting married. And so is guest Peter Sagal of NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! Peter drops in to talk about hoping, coping, and making the news funny when everything is a raging garbage fire. Oh, and weddings! Peter is getting married first, so he wins. There's some real talk about depression and anxiety, but also the joy that is still everywhere. No really, it is!

    Also, Maureen's boyfriends plot to kidnap her at the altar! Will Sam and Carter crash the wedding? Who will be the Bride of Says Who?

    While all of this is going on, Trump has a summit with North Korea. Did you know you can bring your own toilet to a summit? You totally can! Can! Get it? CAN.

    Meanwhile, Dan, who is not getting married, is getting ready to go on a SUMMER ROAD TRIP all over America. Is he trying to escape? How far will be get? What will he eat? These are all things Maureen wants to know. It makes Dan nervous. Or maybe Dan is nervous because Trump is meeting alone with Kim Jong Un. It's hard to say what makes Dan nervous anymore.

    This week's Says Who is the romcom you have waited for. Get your popcorn and tissues, and bring your toilet, if you want.

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    Ep. 51: THE DAYS OF OUR LIES

    Summer summer summer! It’s here! Time for sand, sun, fun, and cooking s’mores on the dying embers of democracy and our sanity!

    Dan and Maureen convene once again to take stock of what is happening to all of our minds. Why, for example, is our President pointing at an Invisible Melania? How do we respond when we’re straight-up told that Spygate is made up? Whither the bag o’phones?

    Nothing makes sense. Which is why it’s time to choose our own summer adventure. Dan tells a story about wrestling. Maureen also tells a story about wrestling, then she talks of her loves: Carter Page and Sam Numberg. Who will be her summer romance? Can you mail a cucumber? Seriously, where is Melania? Can’t you see her? She’s right there, in the window! Look closely!

    Summer is here, Says Whovia. This time, we will be ready.

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    Ep. 50: FIFTY SHADES OF SAY

    It was never supposed to be this way. Says Who, the little eight-episode podcast, is now on its 50th EPISODE! FIFTY!

    Dan has returned from Disney and has tales of Dole Whip and the Haunted Mansion. Maureen did not go to Disney and has tales of being at home watching the news, which mostly means watching Rudy Giuliani do whatever it is Rudy Giuliani does.

    What have we learned over the course of 50 Says Whos? How are we coping? What would we tell our past selves? And how can we get a sponsor?

    All of these things and MORE on THE BIG 5-0!

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    Ep. 49: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

    Hey hey hey! It's the cast from the past! This week, Dan is at DisneyWorld and Maureen is not. Because Dan is at the Happiest Place on Earth, this podcast was recorded early. So you know things we don't! No spoilers!

    This episode, we answer your questions. How did we know Michael Cohen would be such a star? How do you get through the day when things get hard? Will Maureen's wedding be broadcast on PBS? What do we do first at DisneyWorld? So many questions. We'll tell you our answers, and you can tell us how things are going.

    Last one to the Haunted Mansion has to be Trump's new lawyer!

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    Ep. 48: TAINT GOOD

    Says Whovians, we've been waiting for this moment for all our lives. Mr "Says Who" himself, Trump lawyer Michael Cohen, burst into the news this week. And it wasn't just a one-and-done kinda thing. Nope, Maureen's original boyfriend came with all the plot twists and surprise reveals of a good mystery novel. Dan can barely even speak, Maureen's love is rekindled, and they both dig down deep to sort out the ups and downs of one of the most upside-down weeks yet. Good gravy.

    But then. Then they get to the "Taint Team" and the metaphor for exactly this moment in history that you never knew you wanted, and probably still don't.

    We're sorry. We're so sorry.

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    Ep. 47: WORKIN FOR A LIVIN

    Are you looking for work? Have you considered the White House? They've got some openings and don't seem to check qualifications, so why not. Maureen and Dan earn their podcast living today by looking at the recent upheaval at the White House and discuss the weird jobs that they've had that maybe make them just as qualified as the rest of these jokers. I mean, it couldn't be worse than working in a haunted restaurant right?

    Plus, Maureen and Dan take it to the maxx by talking about the March for Our Lives and Stormy Daniels, the two stories that have managed to break through the chaos tornado that is the White House AND the two stories that have Trump scared enough to actually show Twitter discipline. How is it possible? Maureen and Dan are on the case.

    All this plus for some reason Maureen is in Philadelphia and a Raccoon comes a'callin.

    Says Who: We're workin the late shift... of America.

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    Ep. 46: GOOD GRAVY

    Dan and Maureen are sleepy. Very sleepy. They would like a nap. There has been too much 2018 this week. But in SaysWhovia, we sleep in 2019, at Disneyworld.

    What have we learned in the last two weeks? We learned that Rex Tillerson uses a toilet, that Trump's lawyers are the weirdest people in the world, that Russia is acting like a serial killer in a movie, that you don't fire a guy the day before he retires, and you never play games with Stormy Daniels. Also, Dan has a new catchphrase! And we have a new sponsor!

    Says Who: we'll stay awake with you.

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    Ep. 45: GET THEE TO SAM NUNBERGERY

    What light is this? What strange sparks? Why, it is a train of goons! Goons!

    This week, Dan and Maureen gaze in wonder and awe at the universe of 2018. This two week period began with Marco Rubio getting nailed in his big, dumb face at the CNN town hall and it ended with a beautiful trail of sparks as one of the brightest lights in the sky flew past. Yes. Sam Nunberg, a.k.a. Mr. Maureen Johnson, entered our lives. We need to grab this comet by the tail and ride.

    Did other things happen? Sure they did. But it's Sam Nunberg we will always remember. Sam Nunberg does not want to give all of his emails since November 1 2015 to the Special Prosecutor and he will tell you so in this Says Whosterpiece Theater re-enactment. Of the many Trump goons, this one is special. Let Sam Nunberg into your heart. Let him in. Sam would like to come in. Sam will go anywhere and say anything. Come fall in love with Sam.

    Oh yeah, and everyone else quit. But whatever. SAM NUNBERG!

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    Ep. 44: A CASE OF THE WHOOPSIES IN THE PANTSIES with Ashley Feinberg

    There's a lot to wrestle with these last couple weeks. There's the awful, heartbreaking news that came out of Parkland Florida. There's the surprise indictments by Robert Mueller. There's the continued awful sh*tposting from Trump in Florida. And then there's a news report that Maureen was perhaps born for: That the government is proposing creating a "Blue Apron-type program" to replace food stamps. How terrible an idea is that? Let Maureen take you there (if Dan will let her).

    In addition to struggling with the news, Dan and Maureen are joined by Ashley Feinberg, a reporter who has taken reading the Trump family social media accounts to a whole 'nother level. Who's dissing who through passive-aggressively forgetting their birthday? Just which Trump kid is the dumbest? Just what is going on with Trump's hair? We ask a literal, actual expert. Really!

    Hold on to something because it gets a little bumpy. It's the new Says Who!

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    Ep. 43: IN MEMO-RIAM with Spencer Ackerman

    Maureen and Dan have had a busy couple of weeks, not because they've been keeping up with the news--the memo stuff has admittedly been pretty confusing--but because they've been making things. Maureen has a book out and Dan just launched a Kickstarter and they spend some time talking about how hard it is to actually make things right now with the whole world amped up to 11. Come for the conversation about creation, stay for the dog completely losing her sh*t in the middle of it.

    Now about that memo: Maureen and Dan weren't kidding about being confused, so they recruited an expert in national security and secret courts to explain it to them. Spencer Ackerman from the Daily Beast joins the podcast to help us understand what The Memo means, where things stand right now, and maybe to freak Dan out a little about the potential collapse of civilization. But it's fine, probably.

    Take a memo because there's a lot, it's the new Says Who!

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    Ep. 42: PAGING DOCTOR CHILL M.D.

    Maureen has been away on a tour for her new book and hasn't been keeping up with events. What has been going on? Dan has been keeping up with events from hospital waiting rooms and from his basement in Chicago and he is... not handling it well. It's been the most Trumpy two weeks of all time.

    What's on the menu? Shithole countries, fake photo ops, 22 minutes of trying to mute a call, a missile warning in Hawaii, MLK day spent on the golf course, Starburstgate, a cognitive test, a question of height, the Fake News Awards, the Women's March, the government shutdown...

    ...oh, and Stormy Daniels. So much Stormy Daniels.

    This episode may be hazardous to your health. Luckily, the doctor is in. Take a seat. Doctor Chill MD will see you shortly.

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    Ep. 41: THE SAYS WHO BOOK CLUB with Eve Peyser

    Greetings book lovers! Grab a bag of Big Macs and Fillets o Fish and join us over here in the book nook because things get pretty literary this week. First off Maureen has a NEW BOOK and you should pick it up. But Maureen's not the only author with a new book in stores, nope. Michael Wolff's Trump tell-allish Fire and Fury came out this week and Maureen and Dan forced themselves through it so that you don't have to. Really. You don't have to.

    Not the hoity-toity literary type? Don't worry because this episode we're also joined by Vice politics reporter Eve Peyser who lived like Donald Trump for a day: 12 diet cokes, a pile of Big Macs, golf, and angry tweeting. We sit down to find out what she learned (and how she lived).

    So grab a burger and a book and join us for the Says Who Book Club.

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    Ep. 40: Potty Magnet New Years

    Dan and Maureen come together by the fire at the end of December to ring out the old year and welcome the new (DEAR GOD YES PLEASE THE NEW). They show 2017 the door with much less patience than Maureen explaining the pee tape to her mother while at the bank, which, yes, happened. This because of a truck with a window decal that decidedly did not read "potty magnet".

    But this episode isn't just about shedding the curse of 2017, it's also about talking about what's been learned and how it's changed the way we're thinking about 2018. Sayswhovians, we're not gonna lie: things get earnest. But why shouldn't they: we made it through 2017 and we've gotta live 2018 to the maxx.

    But it's not all days of future past, Trump is now officially in the Disney Hall of Presidents--perhaps the most Sayswhovian of news updates--and though Dan and Maureen have long dreaded the day that robot was turned on, it turns out that the Imagineers at Disney had something wonderful in store! They were not going down without a fight. They inspire us to go into 2018 TO THE MAXX.

    Oh and also: someone's getting married (hint: it's not the Trump robot)!

    So come sit with us and let's tell each other wonderful tales of the holiday season, SaysWhovians!

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    Ep. 39: THE BLUE APRON HOLIDAY SPECIAL* with Parker Molloy

    HO HO HOLLLLLY SHIT! We've almost made it through 2017, Sayswhovians! It's time for HOLIDAY CHEER! Let us sing songs, and feast, and count our blessings. Dan and Maureen are ready. Sort of. Maureen has flooded her apartment and Dan has a fever. But they're still ready to jingle all the way to the Alabama special election results! Or something! Look, there is singing.

    Just when you think it couldn't get more merry, Parker Molloy comes down the chimney to spread GOOD CHEER. We talk coping and rabbit poop. And, once again, our friends at Blue Apron bring us the Says Who Food Corner. Can you drink twelve Diet Cokes a day and live? Mmmmaybe.

    Says Who: we're like food in a box for your ears.

    • this episode not actually affiliated with Blue Apron
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    Ep. 38: KATAMARI DEMOCRACY

    It's been a couple weeks since the last full-politics episode of Says Who and... a lot has happened. Life stuff, Trump stuff, good stuff, bad stuff--just lots and lots of stuff. So this episode, Dan and Maureen just roll it all up into a ball that keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger. How did Dan's Thanksgiving tacos turn out? It's in the ball! What was Maureen's sex-ed class like in high school? It's in the ball! Is Eric Trump the stupidest of all the adult Trump children? It's in the ball! Which princesses are official Disney Princesses? It's in the ball! Royal wedding? Ball! Ceramic Christmas towns? Ball! Neti pots? Ball! What about this piece of sh*t new tax plan? You know where it is.

    Grab some sturdy headphones because you're going in the ball too.

    Says Who: it's a big ball... OF EVERYTHING.

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    Ep. 37: THANKSGIVING STARDEWCAST

    It's THANKSGIVING, Saywhovians! It's a special episode just for the holiday, and it contains NO TRUMP. Dan and Maureen talk food and holiday tradition for a bit, and then they are rejoined by Helen Rosner to take a trip to Stardew Valley.

    What's Stardew Valley? Only the best, most peaceful video game. Is it even a video game? It is actually a way to discover who we really are? If you don't know it, then you're about to find out about it. And if you do know it, then you are about to go deep. Can you make wine out of mayonnaise? What's the village secret? Who will Dan marry? Will Helen become ruler of all of Stardew? And why is Maureen just carrying a drum machine around on her head?

    Leave that awkward political discussion at the table. There's no need to listen to why your uncle thinks Trump just needs a chance to make America great again. You're going to Stardew with us.

    Eat a cranberries?

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    Ep. 36: THE KETCHUP CONNECTION with Helen Rosner

    Dan and Maureen are not playing around anymore. The yarn is all around the room and there are pins all over. The crazy wall is showing a pattern, and that pattern is based on ketchup. Food writer and all around amazing person Helen Rosner is back to help break the case. What does it all mean? Does Trump eat fried mushrooms? What about ranch dressing? WHY ALL THE BEEF? We are THISCLOSE to cracking this wide open.

    Oh, and ELECTION DAY! We won! We have hope again! We are full of good news! Also, Dan has built a Trump pooping app. Maureen is back on the sponsorship trail.

    It's all about the food, Sayswhovians. Pull up a chair. This podcast is for eating.

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    Ep. 35: INDICTMENT DAY EARLYCAST!

    Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy. Today was such an amazing day that Dan and Maureen sat down to record early. Copetober had one more surprise in store, and it was a big one. It was the Great Pumpkin, Saywhovians! And Dan and Maureen are here for it. In fact, the import of this day may have evicted them from the remains of their minds. What is this warm and glowing feeling? Is it HOPE?

    Yes, it is INDICTMENT DAY!! Manafort woke up bright and early this morning and drive himself over to the FBI, a low level stooge may have flipped, and Trump of course took it all really well. We are here for IT and for YOU and we break it all down as best we can.

    There are other things, too, like pooping and pie and Stardew Valley. There is a wonderland of audio goodness ahead. Why can't Maureen fish? Why does Dan hate cherries? Who is best at irrigation? Do rice and two pieces of cherry pie make a meal? Blue Apron?

    Who cares? IT'S INDICTMENT DAY!

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    Ep. 34: PUMPKIN SPICER

    So, this year, huh? RIGHT????

    Dan and Maureen share some personal info, and then they dive right into a crisp pile of Copetober leaves. Maureen has a new idea for a service. Dan likes boxes. Dan likes boxes so much more than you will ever know. We get a new Says Who recipe, and Maureen delivers another story about her aunt who had the suicidal bird. Dan learns what PSL stands for. And they talk about trying to think about the future even when the present really sucks.

    YOUR questions are answered. Need a funny book? A good pie? How about a mental image that will never, ever go away? It's all right here.

    So get yourself a Pumpkin Spice whatever, put on your flannel, and sit next to us here on this hay bale and listen to the stories of Says Who by this fire. Don't ask us about the fire.

    PS: steal their phones

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    Ep. 33: COPETOBER!

    Okay. So. Even by 2017 standards, the last two weeks have been a bit much. So Dan and Maureen are stepping back and devoting an entire episode to COPING and YOUR QUESTIONS. First, Dan and Maureen take a quick trip to Puerto Rico with the President. Maureen talks about the potato chip van. Dan remembers the World's Finest chocolate bar. You ask: how do you get things done in 2017? How do you cope with right-wing co-workers? Should there be more debates? Is the Disney Dining Pass worth it? And is there an official Says Who cocktail?

    We get to it all. The fall is upon us, Says Whovians. We have to take care of each other.

    Pull up a pumpkin. It's Says Who time!

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    Ep. 32: EAT THE NEWS with Hayes Brown

    Oh no. Trump is outside Maureen's house. Well, he's too close. He's at the U.N., and that is not good. It is really not good. Luckily, Hayes Brown from Buzzfeed comes by to process the news so you don't have to! We talk about world affairs, the importance of the free press in modern society, and the X-Men.

    Also, Trump's lawyers are dumb. Why are they so dumb? Why is everything so dumb? Is it dumb on purpose? Is it to make US feel dumb? We talk about what this uncertainty does to our minds and our attention spans.

    Oh, and we talk about how Elton John is awesome. Get on our rocket, Sayswhovians. We're going to the moon.

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    Ep. 31: THE SAYS WHO ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL with Ana Marie Cox

    HOOOLLLLY SMOKES. One year ago, two confused people named Dan and Maureen climbed into a basement/a closet and started talking into microphones about the 2016 Election. They thought they would make a show for eight weeks, that they would talk to some smart people, and that the whole mess would end and we'd all laugh about it someday.

    HA HA HA WHO'S LAUGHING NOW.

    To celebrate this occasion, we've brought back Says Who's very first guest, Ana Marie Cox, to reflect on the year we've had. We talk heroes, healing, and lessons learned.

    Oh, and the Ted Cruz porn thing. We talk about that a lot. In depth.

    Blow out the candles, Sayswhovians! We're a year old! It just FEELS like a hundred years!

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    Ep. 30: THE SAYS WHO BACK TO SCHOOL WHOTACTULAR with Laura Moser

    Well, we've had a nice, quiet summer during which nothing happened. It was all good times and cookouts and swimming in the old swimming hole and also...no, everything happened, that's right. Everything happened. Our mistake. Like that one day the other week when literally everything happened at once? Remember that? Of course you do.

    But it's back to school time! Maureen is excited about school supplies! Dan is not! Dan copes by driving Route 66. Maureen will clean your computer and she saw pizza falling from a tree. These are magical times we live in. Our hosts are not well but they are SURVIVING!

    Then we talk to Laura Moser--founder of Daily Action and candidate for Congress from Texas's 7th District,, which is located in Houston. We talk to Laura about what's going on on the ground in Houston, and about how she made her move into activism and then running for office in the wake of Election Day 2016. Can we help turn Laura's corner of Texas blue? Like Blue Apron blue? Let's try!

    ALSO! We will be back next week for the ONE YEAR COPVERSARY PARTY! It's a word.

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    Ep. 29: DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS

    It's an end of summer Says Who, and Dan and Maureen are coasting it out before the fall comes and we all go back to school. We talk about swimming pools! Doughnuts! DisneyWorld! Nazis!

    Oh yeah. Nazis. How the hell did we all end up talking about Nazis--is something we all ended up asking ourselves. And the Confederacy. Things we thought, you know, we'd worked out.

    Maureen explains how she threw herself down a Facebook hole into a bad conversation, because the weird, the bad, the difficult...these things can't be avoided. There's no looking away and pretending politeness. This Says Who is about things that are hard to say--from tough topics to the word "lingerie." Also, we get an official Says Who doughnut. And then we tell you the future.

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    Ep. 28: VACATION NATION!

    Welcome to the Says Who Vacation Party! Get your swimsuit! Put on your sunglasses! It's VACATION TIME! The President is off for his 17 day golf trip, which are different from the two, three, and four day golf trips he normally takes. So we all get the month off! Right?!?! An amazing amount has happened in the last two weeks: Healthcare was saved. The Mooch was lost. But can you really lose a Mooch? A Mooch that gave us so much, like the mental image of Steve Bannon, cksk*r? Dan cannot let this image go. It plays in his mind as he swims. Meanwhile, Maureen has cracked her head on an English wall and snuck up an Italian mountain, where she has a mysterious meeting with a Count. Why not? It's Summer 2017 and it's time to live our best lives. If it doesn't bring you joy, it's time to get it gone. Put us in your ears. We'll meet you on the golf course.

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    Ep. 27: SPICEY AND THE MOOCH with Jonny Sun

    On a dark day in American politics, we go FULL BORE POSITIVE with a friendly alien named Jonny Sun. Dan has an idea for a sitcom. Maureen talks about puppets and wall cheese. There's a man with rocks in his head. All of this, improbably, has to do with the news of the last two weeks, somehow. Bonus: PODCAST DANCING! You can see it, but it's happening. It's all happening. None of this is brought to you by Blue Apron, which won't even come up.

    Says Who: because we all need a buddy comedy right about now.

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    Ep. 26: THE PROFESSOR IS IN with Roman Mars and Elizabeth Joh

    It hasn't been an easy two weeks. Dan has been going through some serious stuff, which means he has been away from the news. Maureen has been keeping up, but she was also attacked by a fish, a cough, and a dog leash. Both try to parse the many feelings and sensations this news cycle brings about. To help bring clarity and actual INFORMATION, 99% Invisible's Roman Mars and constitutional law professor Elizabeth Joh come by to explain things like collision, obstruction of justice, the 25th Amendment, and lupus. (That last one, they do not explain, actually. But it comes up.)

    Also, there's an exciting new SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITY. Is Blue Apron in for some competition?

    Class is in session, SaysWhovians. Take a seat.

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    Ep. 25: WHY IS THIS STILL HAPPENING

    It's time for an old-fashioned dose of your friends Dan and Maureen losing their minds in real time! Dan has had a legitimately terrible few weeks, so its just no guests, mics on, and GO. It's time to talk coping, healthcare, fake Time Magazine covers, rubbing your school bus driver's shoulders as you careen down a hill, the latest scandals at Disney's Hall of Presidents (complete with EXCLUSIVE SAYS WHO SOURCES)--you know all the stuff you'd expect in this, the darkest timeline. Plus, Maureen thinks up a new revenue stream because Blue Apron never called, Dan has trouble with his Alexa, and WHAT IS LURKING IN MITCH MCCONNELL'S CHIMNEY???

    It's just you, the moon, and Says Who. We're all in this together.

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    Ep. 24: THE SAYS WHO DISNEY SPECTACULAR with Hal Lublin and Mark Gagliardi

    It's been a long two weeks and Dan is done. It's all just gotten to be too much. Maureen is ready to talk about Comey and sentient banjo Jeff Sessions but Dan cannot do it any more. How can we save Dan Sinker before he is sunk? Maureen has an idea: A FULL-ON DISNEY SPECTACULAR with podcast superstars (and Disney superfans) Hal Lublin and Mark Gagliardi! We've long promised that when Trump leaves office--by resignation, impeachment, massive constipation from too much beef--we are off to Disney World. Well today we decide that a wish is a dream your heart makes and so we have to FOLLOW OUR DREAMS, Sayswhovians. Even if it takes us to a theme park in central Florida. What happens if you drop in the Tower of Terror 35 times a day for a month--does it better prepare you for life under Trump? What's going on inside the Hall of Presidents? If Trump went to Epcot's World Showcase, would he think it was real? And how could we trap him there? Is Trump's plane powered by his butt? How has Maureen's personality been influenced by a haunted painting? Will Blue Apron become a sponsor? When Trump leaves offices, what's the first ride YOU ride? This Says Who only happens if you truly believe. Clap! Clap! No, seriously. CLAP.

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    Ep. 23: NATIONAL LAMPOON’S PRESIDENTIAL VACATION with Jeff Larson, Surya Mattu, and Julia Angwin

    Summer arrives at Says Who and Maureen and Dan dream of bobbing in the dappled sunshine off the Florida coast. But they're not the only ones setting their sights on a little summertime outing. The president went off to see the world and, thanks to world leaders accommodating his beefy dietary needs, possibly spent 10 days without pooping. But he did get to have a friendly visit with the Pope, touch a glow orb, see Saudi Arabian country superstar Toby Keith (wait, that's not right), and have his tiny hands crushed a few dozen times in handshake wars. Plus, we all got a vacation from his Twitter account for a week or so. Felt great, didn't it? In addition, this episode really does step on to a boat and moors it right outside Mar a Lago when Jeff Larson, Surya Mattu, and Julia Angwin of ProPublica and Gizmodo join to discuss their watery investigation into the Trump Organization's cyber security. This interview is even more delightful than that sounds. So ahoy there matey, it's time to walk the plank.

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    Ep. 22: A HEDGE SALAD IS A SALAD with Clara Jeffery

    Well that escalated quickly. Maureen and Dan play catch up with the events surrounding the sudden firing of FBI Director James Comey. Sure, he didn't do well by Clinton's emails, but all indications are he was leading pretty deep investigations into all this Trump Russia stuff. Aaand, now he's not. That's convenient. Oh, and the Russia stuff? Now they're in the Oval Office too. Sure, why not. So much has happened in the last two weeks (SO MUCH) that we call in an expert to help us sort out truth from fiction: Mother Jones' Editor in Chief Clara Jeffery.

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    Ep. 21: A NEW SALAD IN TOWN with Tarini Parti

    Happy 100 days of Trump! And what a hundred days they have been, full of...wait. Forget all that. Maureen has an important salad report. She's gone back to 1972 and brought back something green. Green and fluffy. And, Buzzfeed's Tarini Parti stops by to talk about about the creeps and hustlers in orbit around Trump. How did the local bars around Mar-a-lago suddenly become a nexus of political gossip, scams, and all around strange happenings?

    100 days. It's harder than we thought!

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    Ep. 20: THE MEATLOAF FILES with Helen Rosner

    In two weeks, we've seen: an egg roll, the continued drip drip drip on the shady characters in the Trump-Russia story, a family feud between a white supremacist and a rich son-in-law, the ongoing shredding of rights and infrastructure, Sean Spicer coining the stomach-churning term "Holocaust centers," and the start of two armed conflicts by a man who's finally undone the child lock on the boom-boom room. Oh, and a possible nuclear war with North Korea because of Twitter.

    So Eater's Helen Rosner joins Maureen & Dan to talk about what Trump eats. It turns out, that's the key to understanding the man.

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    Ep. 19: FINKER, FAILURE, F**KER, SPY with Ted Leo

    Dan and Maureen are back after a month of dealing with life, and the new Says Who is here! What is new? Well, they’re back with guests and a SCHEDULE! And there's certainly been a lot to catch up on. We’ve had the first battle over health care. The President pretended to drive a big truck and golfed thirteen times. And then, Russia! Maureen attempts to create an audio flowchart of events and issues the first Says Who Crafting Challenge: make your own conspiracy wall! Dan busts in with critical info he’s been keeping from Maureen and issues the second Says Who Crafting Challenge: let’s put a billboard outside of Paul Ryan’s grocery store! Then we turn to our guest--musician and all-round good guy Ted Leo--to talk about how he stays creative inside this awful Trump headspace. Turns out, he likes to read some really relaxing books. Then he drops a bombshell of an Action Park story that brings everything full circle and Maureen loses it a little. Says Who is back in town--bigger and better than ever. Let’s ride the slide together while we’re all still insured. Wheeeeeee!

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    Minicast: INSIDE THE SAYS WHO TEST KITCHEN

    We know a ton is going on right now, but some Life Stuff made it so we had to hit the pause button on new full-length episodes of Says Who for the time being. In fact, this will be the last episode of any size from Says Who for a couple more weeks BUT DON'T DESPAIR SAYSWHOVIANS because in this Minicast we do the one thing that you all have been asking for more than anything else: We make that theme park favorite, Dole Whip! That's right, Dan steps into the Says Who Test Kitchen to whip up a batch of this tasty frozen treat. Plus, there's a special treat of a song by Neko Case for those that stay all the way through the end. Grab your blender and follow along folks, It's a special Says Who Minicast!

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    Ep. 18: OH SHIP!

    Ahoy! Maureen is on a boat. Specifically, she is on the Joco Cruise—a ship full of musicians, podcasters, comedians, artists, and nerds, which is happily sailing the Baja peninsula. She’s been a little out of touch, what with all the shows, games, and taco bars she has to attend. Dan is left to fill her in on what’s been happening. And what has been happening? Oh, nothing. It’s been super quiet since last Tuesday. Except for the news about Russia, Jeff Sessions, the accusations of wire tapping, the new travel ban, and the Trumpcare bill. Just those things.

    In Dole Whip news, Dan has ALSO injured his finger trying to make a homemade Dole Whip. Maureen sees this as a portent. How long can the center hold? How can we take this much news? Will Maureen just remain at sea on the nerd boat and become part of a new society? Will Dan get ensnared the yarn of his crazy wall and never emerge from his basement again?

    Put on your life jackets, Sayswhovians. It’s seven bells, and the ship is tilting.

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    Ep. 17: CUT AND RUN

    Dan spent last night sitting up watching Trump’s speech. Maureen spent last night in the emergency room getting her finger sewn up and missed Trump speech. How did Maureen hurt her finger? On a Dole Whip. Who had the better night? We know the answer. Maureen did. She is living the Says Who dream. After two strange weeks in the gaslit fog of the Trump presidency, we gather once again to discuss haunted mansions, bizarre speeches, lies, deceit, ketchup on steaks, and yes, Dan’s personal favorite, Mar-a-Lago! Who let KellyAnne put her feet on the sofa? Who is in charge of putting Xanax into Trump’s blue cheese dressing? And how can you make Dole Whip at home? Only some of these questions will be answered, but you will hear the tap of Maureen’s metal fingersplint, and that is pretty good. Step into the Says Who office. The doctor will see you now.

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    Ep. 16: A WEDGE SALAD IS NOT A SALAD

    Like many of you, Dan and Maureen have lost all sense of what time means. Now that every day feels like a year, they are struggling to compress two weeks of Trump news into one podcast. This is a near-impossible task, but that won’t stop them. We visit Dan’s Crazy Wall, where he is pointing his laser pointer to the new Mar-a-Lago and Michael Flynn wings. Maureen is in a tropical paradise and seems to have a better grip on reality, but then the subject of salad wedges comes up and things rapidly fall apart. Never before has a quarter head of lettuce lead to the complete devolution of political and social mores. (Sidenote: that salad is known as “Mr. Trump’s Wedge Salad” on the Mar-a-Lago menu.) This episode contains strong language, but you can probably handle it. We think. Look, it was a rough two weeks. Anyway, we’ll see you at Nordstroms.

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    Ep. 15: THE SILVER TRACK

    What the hell just happened? Is something you might be asking yourself. Because something is happening every damn hour. This is Trump's America, where if you stop for a minute, you're catching up for a year.

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    Ep. 14: INAUGURATION BATTLE STATIONS

    Well, here we are. We’ve gotten on the roller coaster car, the bar has come down, and now it’s making that tick-tick-tick as it takes us up the big hill. This is happening. Dan and Maureen discuss the glories of the inauguration entertainment lineup. Maureen is kind of obsessed with it. Dan’s is thinking about his escape to Disneyland. His hotel sells Dole Whip. IN THE HOTEL. But most of this episode features YOU, the listeners, calling in and telling us what you plan to do for the inauguration. The only way we’re going to get through this is together, so we’re drawing on the voices of others to lift ourselves up. Listen while you’re marching. Listen when you’re at home not watching the inauguration. The way is together.

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    Ep. 13: WEE THE PEOPLE

    Oh boy oh boy oh boy, Sayswhovians. It's been a wild 24 hours, so your hosts went to their closets and basements to break it all down. From last night's urine-soaked news, to Dan's first person report of Obama's final address, to this morning's hearings, and finally the day unspooling into the bizarre real-time breakdown that was the Trump press conference. We reconstruct the events, perhaps just to prove to ourselves that they really happened and that we're all in the same reality. From a night in Chicago to a spray in Moscow: we go through it all. Come for the urine, stay for the fake news. Maybe we'll even show you what's in this stack of folders we've collected next to this podcast. You're the puppet!

    Content note: contains current. Possibly not suitable for tiny ears, tiny hands.

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    Ep. 12: FLASHLIGHTCAST IN THE DARKNESSCAST

    Welcome to 2017! Dan has been snowed in to a Marriott Residence Inn in Colorado for two days with two children and a dog. Maureen is sitting in her dark closet in New York City with a small, retractable flashlight she refuses to turn on. Somehow, these things explain the course of the new year. This is Weird America, and we’re ready. It’s time to push ahead and pick up tools. Which tools? Where to go? We’re ready to start asking the questions and making plans. Let’s talk about the Affordable Care Act, the right to health care, driving in Colorado, crane rides, log flumes, and small, retractable flashlights. Did we mention the flashlights? They will come up. Listen for them. Take heart, take hope, get weird. It’s 2017. Wherever you are, you are not alone. Shine your tiny light and others will find you. Together, you will make one bigger, brighter light.

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    Ep. 11: THE SAYS WHO HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR

    Ho Ho Ho holiday pals! Maureen and Dan don their kerchiefs and caps, force their faces into a grin-like shape and settle down for a long winter's nap. Sure, Santa stops by for a moment, but then he finds out about Trump. And then Dan and Maureen are left to talk about cults, conspiracy theories, and the insane, awful reality we all now find ourselves in. But it's not all gloom: They also bring you the first annual Says Who Holiday Gift Guide--full of actually useful ideas for ways of supporting journalism, the arts, your local community, your friends, and yourself. So have yourself a merry little whatever and enjoy the Says Who Holiday Special.

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    Nanocast: A WISH IS A DREAM YOUR HEART.... ah forget it

    It's an Audio Update from Dan. We have to take a couple weeks off the show so Maureen can finish your new favorite book, so Dan slides into your headphones to let you know we're alive and also to give you some Says Who Approved charities and organizations that we're supporting here in the post-election holiday season (links in the show notes). Wish upon a star or whatever you do this holiday season and we'll see you soon!

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    Ep. 10: DAWN OF THE DONALD

    Once again, Dan and Maureen set up mics and record their rough impressions of the 21 days after the election. We’ve woken up in a weird new world. Much like people in a zombie movie, Americans are wandering around wondering what the hell is going on and trying to figure out how to make tools to fight. Life went on as Trump floated above like a demented Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon from hell. Dan has been at breakfast buffets in Iowa. Maureen couldn’t outrun the news in Dublin. Now, they’re back and having a raw talk about mental health, self care, long-term planning, the bullshit nature of doom, and making the Excel spreadsheet of resistance. Time to figure it out--there’s work to do. Welcome to Radio Free Says Who. We’re here to talk you through it--or at least keep you company. Resist, friends. Resist.

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    Ep. 9: THE DARKEST TIMELINE

    We weren’t prepared for this episode. We mean that in every way. We did not expect this outcome. We did not mentally prepare ourselves. We had no plan for this. Like a lot of people (we’re guessing most of you), we’ve been dealing with the emotional fallout and confusion that comes with this election result. Without any script or any plan, we decided to record our raw reactions 36 hours after the event. There’s no cold open, no special guest, no bleeping of swear words--just two people trying to process. Dan tells a story about visiting a local library. Maureen talks about running headfirst into chaos. Mostly, we wanted to make something to make people feel less alone. We talk about building and about taking the time to process before making decisions about what’s next. For sure, the rawest episode of Says Who ever but maybe the one we’d most like people to hear. Stay together. Reach out. Do what you need to right now.

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    Ep. 8: SULLY, IT'S ME with Brian Stetler

    Dan has been in England for a week and now it’s time to come back to America and Election 2016--but first, he has a nice, quiet plane ride with no access to the news. Surely that will go well. Like Dan’s plane, this election is coming in for a landing. How will this last week go? We asked CNN’s Brian Stelter to talk us through it and to talk about the role the media has played in this entire, never-ending (but maybe actually almost ending?) election. Come on, everyone. We’re landing on the Hudson. Hang on tight.

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    Ep. 7: DONALD DARKO with Olivia Nuzzi

    It’s Halloween! Welcome to this SPOOKY (though remarkably ghost-free) episode of Says Who. Dan is just trying to get to the basement to record, but reality isn’t cooperating. Maureen has finally broken into her many spectral forms. And who keeps calling on the phone? Then the real chills and thrills come: Olivia Nuzzi of the Daily Beast is here to talk about her fifteen months covering Donald Trump, including her trips into Trump Tower. You’ll need to sleep with the lights on after this one, presuming you sleep at all. Ring, ring.

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    Ep. 6: THREE IS A MAGIC NUMBER with Molly Ball

    We did it! We made it through the third debate! Everything is fine now. Except, who is at the door? What’s that strange machine? Did you know that there have been twenty-five debates in this election cycle? Did you want to know that? Neither did we. Dan is eating too much pie. Maureen has been up to something. And Molly Ball from The Atlantic speaks to us, fresh off a plane from Las Vegas. Together, three people try to make sense of the third debate. Who’s the puppet? You’re the puppet!

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    MINICAST: RELAX WITH SAYS WHO

    Today’s episode is a MINICAST. The full episode this week will be up on Friday for our POST DEBATE discussion with Molly Ball, politics reporter from The Atlantic. But! We wanted to give you something you could use to help you in this trying time. This is the official Says Who relaxation hypnosis tape. Feel your election stress melt away. Come relax with us. RELAX.

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    Ep. 5: THE GHOST OF TWOoOoOoo DEBATES with Jamelle Bouie

    After living through the leaked Trump tape and the second debate (not to mention the VP debate that feels like a million years ago but was actually a week ago), Maureen and Dan try to get out of covering the election, but a spectral visitor brings sets them back on task. The ghost that visits them is nowhere near as terrifying as reality, as the Republican party splits with Trump and the second debate goes completely off the rails. Thankfully, Maureen and Dan are joined by Jamelle Bouie, chief political correspondent for Slate Magazine, and a political analyst for CBS News. Jamelle joins Says Who straight from landing back in New York after being at the debate--and he lived to tell the tale. Join us this week, where we dig into the dynamics of an election turned upside down and where we go from here.

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    Ep. 4: SEX, TAXES, AND AUDIOBOOKS with Farai Chideya

    Maureen has been listening to audiobooks at night; Dan has some serious questions about where she’s been getting them from. No one has been sleeping much, not Maureen, or Dan, or Donald Trump. It has been a week of midnight creeping, late night tweeting, and general mayhem. Debate meltdowns, imaginary sex tapes, leaked taxes, and increasingly inflammatory proclamations--how to cope with it all? Enter 538’s Farai Chideya, who has been traveling the country this election season, getting to know voters up close. She shares a deeply enlightening, uplifting, and humane take on how we can come together, despite our differences (and how we may not be as different as we seem).

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    Ep. 3: THE GREAT DEBATE COASTER with Chris Hayes

    Something strange is happening in the Says Who? studio. Dan and Maureen are visited by a terrible spectre with a strangely familiar voice. Dan isn’t sleeping and Maureen walks through her troubled theme park past. MSNBC’s Chris Hayes comes along and talks about his favorite gum! Also the election. He definitely talks about the election too. Learn what happens behind the scenes on MSNBC, and get a measured take on the debate. Chris is here to set it all straight.

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    Ep. 2: SUPER PALS, SUPER POLLS with Josh Katz

    We’ve been hanging on polls for months, but we realized that we didn’t know how polls work. So we got Josh Katz of the New York Times’ website The Upshot to explain it to us. Come walk through the process of polling with someone who truly understands how this numerical sausage gets made! Plus, Dan loses his grip on reality.

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    Ep. 1: MAKE ANY OTHER YEAR GREAT AGAIN ALSO with Ana Marie Cox

    In this inaugural episode of SAYS WHO, Dan and Maureen talk to senior political correspondent for MTV news and creator of Wonkette, Ana Marie Cox. We sing some songs. We talk of tacos, hats, haunted mansions, and balloons. Oh and also the grinding reality of the 2016 Presidential election. Also that.

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    Ep. 0: 537 Days? Dear God. 537 Days.

    Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker say hello, grapple with time being unforgivingly linear, and introduce Says Who? the new podcast dedicated to surviving the last eight weeks of this never-ending election cycle.

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