Says Who?
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Are you looking for some friendly company to help you through the hell that we find ourselves in after the 2016 election? Dan Sinker and Maureen Johnson—one journalist and one author—try to figure out what the hell is going on. Maybe, together, they can figure it out (spoiler alert: probably not)! Why not grab your coffee (or something stronger) and pull up a chair?

SAYS WHO: it's not a podcast—it's a coping strategy.

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    DAN IN A HOT TIN CAR

    Hey, SaysWhovia! It's summertime! It's time for picnics, swimming, lounging, and...checks notes sitting in a hot car at noon in New Mexico recording a podcast!

    Yes, Dan, a Podcasting Professional, has once again found internet on the road. Sure, it's in a hot car, but when have hot cars ever been a problem? There's lots to talk about as Says Who took the holiday week off. Maureen also rode in a car! And swam in a pond! She does not want to talk about politics. But this is Says Who, and we do it so you don't have to. That is our pledge.

    This week, the President's Very Big Parade was rained on. The British revealed their real feelings about Trump. A terrible predator with close ties to the administration was arrested. Someone left the 2020 race, but someone else stepped in, and...

    Dan is out of water. The sun is getting higher.

    Oh, and the President is obsessed with Purell. All germs, really. He really, really does not like germs, almost as much as he really, really likes parades.

    Dan is fading. Someone help Dan.

    And next week is The Big Mueller Show! Time to get the lawn chairs! And the jaws of life! Smash the window, SaysWhovia. It's time to get out!

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    A BAKED POTATO

    Last week, Dan and Maureen were in dire straits. Dan was in the back of a hot car near a pyramid, and Maureen got punched by a dog. This week, things are much better. Dan is now in a hot trailer, and Maureen dog is sleeping, so nothing can go wrong.

    In fact, things are looking up and getting spicy. A hero emerges in Chicago and spits on Eric Trump. NRATV goes down. Mueller's public testimony is scheduled. And the two Democratic debates are about to begin.

    In preparation, Dan has a list of every contenders' favorite comfort foods. Maureen is not emotionally ready. She never will be. Maureen does not want to watch the debates. But she will, because in SaysWhovia, we show up, so you don't have to.

    Get your comfort food. It's time to watch some TV.

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    MEET US BY THE PYRAMID

    We've had lots of times together, SayWhovia. We've experienced many moments together. Today, we are going to experience more, for today is one of the stranger recordings we've ever done in the town square.

    Dan is sweating in the back of a car near a pyramid. Maureen is doing just fine in New York. She is talking about things like the departure of Sarah Sanders, the race for a new Prime Minister in the UK, and the 2020 Democratic debates. Dan is sweating a lot, like, a lot, because he is recording in a back seat in Tennessee.

    But when Dan and Maureen get into the Trump interview, problems develop. Before it's all over, things... go wrong. Not everyone will make it out of this recording in one piece.

    Nothing can stop us, SaysWhovia-- not technical issues, or heat, or the cops, or a giant pyramid, or physical injury... well, that last one might.

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    Rolling Out

    Summer's here, and everyone's hitting the road! Dan's back in his trailer, Maureen's done with her book, and Trump is off making a great impression across the Atlantic. Surely nothing can possibly go wrong.

    Wait for it: Everything kinda went wrong.

    Trump insulted royalty, he threatened to take away the national health service, his large adult sons skipped out on their bar tab, and someone gave him an enormous hat to wear. Plus, he sat down for a meal that contained zero things he might actually eat.

    Put on extra sunscreen, order an extra large Slurpee, and get ready for summer with Says Who because things are heating up!

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    LIVE FROM POD X

    Live from Pod X in beautiful Nashville Tennessee, it's Maureen and Dan out of their closet and basement and instead sitting right next to each other doing an episode! In front of people! Really!

    But whatever could they talk about? Thankfully ROBERT MUELLER HIMSELF spoke! Also in front of people! Really! Did he have the voice of an angel? What did he say? Let's discuss, shall we?

    And then Donald Trump got on an airplane and traveled to Japan to give a sumo wrestler the President's Cup, which was a thing that did not exist until now. And then... they ate food. Steak? Check. Vanilla Ice Cream. Check.

    And finally, we've got 23 candidates for the 2020 Democratic primary which means... Amy Carter's Shoe paid a visit. And she's real.

    If you weren't there in Nashville, come on and dance with the one who brung ya.

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    NOSFERATU 2020

    When we last left them, Dan was in Chicago in the cold drizzle and Maureen was in the puppy pen. Dan is still in the drizzle. Maureen, however, has made it on to the sofa! The puppy is asleep. All is peaceful and calm. Things are good.

    But ARE they, SaysWhovia? Is this situation under any kind of control? What happens when the people who are in charge just stop abiding the law? At what point do we stop tolerating this and fight back? When is enough enough? Where is the line in the sand? WHITHER IMPEACHMENT?

    Dan would like to know. Maureen has thoughts, but the puppy is awake and needs to pee. Ah, no. The puppy is peeing. And it's Sayswhosterpiece Theater time! This time, we have Mr. Says Who himself, Michael Cohen!

    Oh, the puppy is extra awake. The puppy is ready to play. Maureen is losing control of the situation. How does this end? Does SaysWhovia have a dog park?

    Sometimes the tooth is sharp, SaysWhovia, but we keep going.

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    SAYS POO

    Look. Maureen is in the puppy pen again. Sometimes, she goes in there all on her own. Times are tough all over OK? Don't judge.

    Remember the halcyon days of checks calendar two weeks ago when it seemed like we were in a real lull period? Yeah, not anymore so much. Shit is getting real all over and so on...

    BARK

    What's that?

    BARKBARKBARK

    Oh, more puppy talk? Sure, we can work with that.

    Also, Maureen attempts to name all 22 Democratic candidates for mayor, Bill Barr gets found in contempt, and Amy Carter's Shoe reveals something about Joe Biden that you ABSOLUTELY WILL WANT TO UNKNOW. Plus, Oscar pays a visit! It turns out he's real and not a character Maureen has just made up all these years. Who knew?

    Anyway, we're trying.

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    LEGAL IS OPTIONAL

    We are between worlds, SaysWhovia.

    In some sense, everything is calm and normal. People go to work and shop and eat. Kids ride bikes. But, much like on Stranger Things, something lurks beneath. The Report has arrived, except no one can get it. William Barr is called by the House and...doesn't show up. Tax records and requested and not provided. It turns out you don't have to follow the law! Or something! Whatever!

    Maureen and Dan try to work out this new reality. Can you just do whatever now? Are 2020 elections canceled, or have they already started? Will Trump just decide not to leave and stay forever?

    WE JUST DON'T KNOW!

    But, Maureen also has a puppy so we can talk about that for a while. Puppies are better.

    Everyone into the puppy playpen, SaysWhovia. It's safe in here.

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    GAME OF SCROTES

    Here's the thing...

    ...it seems kind of normal out there. Or so Dan thinks. It's quiet. Too quiet. This weekend, everyone enjoyed some Thrones and Avengers. It almost felt normal. Things must be...

    noises

    Oh. Maureen got a puppy! SaysWhovia has a new resident! Her life is on fire, but good fire! But fire. And, as you will see, she has a different take on this period. And she has brought textual evidence from the SaysWhovian readings, from the Book of Bannon. And she's not in the closet.

    Life seeps in, SaysWhovia. But what does it mean? What's coming next?

    In the Game of Scrotes, you win or you... well, it's just more scrotes.

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    FRIENDS ON THE OTHER SIDE with Akilah Hughes

    We're in it now. It's stupid noon and the town has gathered on the square. The gunfighters are facing off. The sheriff is holding a copy of the Muller Report. Everything is quiet, except Fartin' Joe who eats all the beans. Impeachment? Or more crimes? All crimes? Are we ceding the town to the varmints?

    Oh, we could wonder about that, or we could spend a blissful hour with Akilah Hughes who was an ACTUAL DISNEY PRINCESS AND KNOWS ALL THE SECRETS OF THE KINGDOM! Guess which we do.

    Guess guess guess guess guess.

    That's right. Put your Mueller report aside because IT IS TIME TO TALK DISNEY ON SAYS WHO.

    Let's disappear into the tunnels under SaysWhovia. Don't mind the bodies, they never die here.

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