Says Who?
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Are you looking for some friendly company to help you through the hell that we find ourselves in after the 2016 election? Dan Sinker and Maureen Johnson—one journalist and one author—try to figure out what the hell is going on. Maybe, together, they can figure it out (spoiler alert: probably not)! Why not grab your coffee (or something stronger) and pull up a chair?

SAYS WHO: it's not a podcast—it's a coping strategy.

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    Oh dear.

    Last week, all six thousand years of it, lurks around us, its events still unfolding. You know the ones--Brett, Tobin, weightlifting, boofing, Beach Week, ralphing, Yale Law School, and beer. These are all things we had to deal with after a courageous woman put herself on the line and told the story of her assault to a largely sneering, indifferent panel of ghouls.

    None of us wanted to know about the Bro Adventures of Brett, but here we are, in 2018 America. Dan is broken. Maureen tries to help, but Maureen is also broken. But! There is much to dissect here. Who backdates a calendar? What does Tobin want? Whither UB40? What does that one neurotransmitter in Maureen's head do all day? Does Mike Judge really love Walgreens? Dan and Maureen are prepared to take a bite of the hot and stanky meat of last week's rancid sandwich in order to give you a comprehensive review. And maybe stop the internal screaming in your head? Maybe? That is the goal.

    Come on over. We're going to Tobin's.

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    Yes, it's the Says Who two year anniversary show! This was never supposed to happen! We should have been done in 2016. But here we are, "celebrating" two years of doing whatever it is we do! And to celebrate with us, our first guest, Ana Marie Cox, joins us again to talk about where we're at. We talk service, politics, and beans.

    Also, Dan and Maureen have ACTUAL BIG NEWS TO SHARE. No, really. We have NEWS that will rock SaysWhovia to the core!

    PLUS! A book report on Bob Woodward's FEAR. We read it! We totally read it.

    And Dan has something to say about a toad? Toads are nice. That will be a fun story!

    It's just TWO MUCH. So come with us, SaysWhovians! Get a piece of cake!

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    It's a funny thing, recording a podcast every other week in 2018. You just never know. Maybe you record on a quiet Sunday night thinking that everything will be chill for a day or two and then EVERYTHING HAPPENS, EVERYTHING.

    It's September! Dan is back in Chicago! Maureen is...flat on her back in New York with the return of the Terrible Stomach Flu Or Some Kind Of Poisoning. To entertain Maureen as she is in her bed of pain, Dan recounts the many events that have transpired. Michael Cohen. Paul Manafort. The death of Senator McCain and McCain's posthumous message to Trump and America. The flag that went up and down and up and down. Trump much.

    And there's a new book coming! And it sounds like it is REALLY SOMETHING. Dan and Maureen read some of the previews. What DOES happen when you put a snake, a rat, a falcon, a rabbit, a shark and a seal in a zoo without walls? Who would do that? Is

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    Hey! Anything interesting going on? Dan and Maureen have been off doing their summer homework. Dan is finishing up his trip around the country. Maureen has been in New York having stomach flu. Because of this, they recorded another Sunday Summer Special!

    Because nothing was going to happen between Sunday and Tuesday, right? RIGHT????

    So this episode is our BOOK REPORT on Unhinged! We read it so you didn't have to! Find out: who loves Don Jr. (hint: no one), the terrible process of getting on to The Apprentice, and how Omarosa hides things by the Diet Cokes! It's all terrible! All of it!

    But this isn't about terrible things. This is about looking forward to fall, focusing on coping, the Says Who Kindergarten, and finally getting that big money sponsor.

    Get back in the pool for one last splash before summer is over!

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    Ep. 56: MOUNTAIN DAN

    He's got a big beard, a skillet full of beans, a loyal dog, and he's in an Airstream trailer in the middle of Montana. It's MOUNTAIN DAN, and his sidekick, METROPOLITAN MAUREEN. Together, they solve crime!

    Okay. They don't solve crime. They record podcasts. And in Dan's case, they do it sitting on the floor of the trailer, by tethering a phone to a computer. This is the most rough and rustic Says Who yet--the last, fullest expression of summer. Dan is out experiencing America. Maureen is doing what she always does--sitting around in New York.

    What's going on? It's summer vacation. Neither of them know. Something about a jacket? Fuck everything, it's summer! And for no reason at all, Dan and Maureen are talking about survival. Namely, about what to do when The Monsters come and you have to raid a SuperTarget.

    Before the madness of the fall takes us, sit back and find out how long your hosts would last before being eaten by MAGA hat-wearing monsters. Pod Save America isn't giving you this kind of content, is it?

    Brought to you by Blue Apron: when the end times come, we'll mail you a potato.

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    Ep. 55: VLAD TO HAVE YOU

    Every time Dan and Maureen say that too much has happened in the two weeks since the last episode, but this time they mean it, they really, really do. Because it has been too much. When you try to drill down into it, you find there is no it and no drill and you've just been falling while pretending to drill like a CHUMP.

    But that won't stop Dan and Maureen. Why would they stop? Or did they mean to say why wouldn't they stop? lol. That's a Trump joke. Everything is funny now.

    Obviously, this is serious business so Dan and Maureen get right down to it with no hesitation. Right to the most important story of the past two weeks. We all know what that is. No need to even say it. Before it's all over, we'll talk about bad spying, Michael Cohen, Carter Page, and about what words mean. And pie. There's a whole bunch of stuff about pie. So many pies.

    Oh, and Russia and how the President is probably utterly compromised but hey, pie!

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    Ep. 54: INTO THE WOODS

    What's that sound coming from the trees? Why, it's Dan and Maureen, emerging in podcast form! Maureen was in England, doing more marriage things. She was in the English woods, where the WiFi is not so good. (Hence the delayed episode.) Dan is almost three weeks into his Airstream tour of America.

    So what have our travelers learned? Well, while Maureen was in England, it decided to fall apart. Brexit is not going well, and the government is splintering. England is also preparing for Trump's visit with a giant balloon!

    Meanwhile, Dan reflects on our nation from campsites and national parks. What is life like in a big metal box? Pretty good, as it turns out! Both Dan and Maureen are in a better mood than the last episode, but that is in Trump-adjusted terms. Also, both of them have a lot of mosquito bites.

    But what HAS been happening? The Supreme Court lost a justice, and the nominee is a spendy weirdo. Scott Pruitt, America's griftiest grifter, has been forced to leave office for the dumbest reason possible. Stormy Daniels is busted by the Boob Detectives on shady boob charges. Trump has a bad meet cute with NATO. And Maureen has another MONEYMAKER idea that cannot fail.

    The woods of Sayswhovia are lovely, dark, and deep. Follow us. Take our hand. Come into the trees. It's better in here. You'll never want to leave.

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    Yodelheeehoooo! Put on your hat because it's time for another trip up Bullshit Mountain with your pals Maureen and Dan. Both Maureen and Dan have done good Life Things in the last two weeks, but news gotta new and it continues to break headlines and spirits. Maureen is now married. Dan is cruising around America in a sweet airstream trailer. Trump is ripping families apart.

    While this episode was being recorded, news of the Muslim Ban broke in, so there is real time reaction. How do we do good things while bad things keep happening? This is a topic we keep coming back to.

    But there is wedding talk as well. Did Sam and Carter show up to grab Maureen before she could wed? Can Dan outrun current events by dragging his house behind a car? And what role did Blue Apron play in the events of the last week?

    Oh, and Melania's jacket. Yeah. Melania's jacket.

    Grab a buddy, Sayswhovians. We're starting the climb.

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    Ep. 52: BRIDE OF SAYS WHO with Peter Sagal

    DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG! It's WEDDING TIME at Says Who! Maureen is getting married and everything is fine. She has everything ready to go, nothing weird is happening in the world, and...

    Well, no. It's not exactly like that. But she is getting married. And so is guest Peter Sagal of NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! Peter drops in to talk about hoping, coping, and making the news funny when everything is a raging garbage fire. Oh, and weddings! Peter is getting married first, so he wins. There's some real talk about depression and anxiety, but also the joy that is still everywhere. No really, it is!

    Also, Maureen's boyfriends plot to kidnap her at the altar! Will Sam and Carter crash the wedding? Who will be the Bride of Says Who?

    While all of this is going on, Trump has a summit with North Korea. Did you know you can bring your own toilet to a summit? You totally can! Can! Get it? CAN.

    Meanwhile, Dan, who is not getting married, is getting ready to go on a SUMMER ROAD TRIP all over America. Is he trying to escape? How far will be get? What will he eat? These are all things Maureen wants to know. It makes Dan nervous. Or maybe Dan is nervous because Trump is meeting alone with Kim Jong Un. It's hard to say what makes Dan nervous anymore.

    This week's Says Who is the romcom you have waited for. Get your popcorn and tissues, and bring your toilet, if you want.

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    Summer summer summer! It’s here! Time for sand, sun, fun, and cooking s’mores on the dying embers of democracy and our sanity!

    Dan and Maureen convene once again to take stock of what is happening to all of our minds. Why, for example, is our President pointing at an Invisible Melania? How do we respond when we’re straight-up told that Spygate is made up? Whither the bag o’phones?

    Nothing makes sense. Which is why it’s time to choose our own summer adventure. Dan tells a story about wrestling. Maureen also tells a story about wrestling, then she talks of her loves: Carter Page and Sam Numberg. Who will be her summer romance? Can you mail a cucumber? Seriously, where is Melania? Can’t you see her? She’s right there, in the window! Look closely!

    Summer is here, Says Whovia. This time, we will be ready.

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