Says Who?

Are you looking for some friendly company to help you through the hell that we find ourselves in after the 2016 election? Dan Sinker and Maureen Johnson—one journalist and one author—try to figure out what the hell is going on. Maybe, together, they can figure it out (spoiler alert: probably not)! Why not grab your coffee (or something stronger) and pull up a chair?

SAYS WHO: it's not a podcast—it's a coping strategy.

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    Ep. 55: VLAD TO HAVE YOU

    Every time Dan and Maureen say that too much has happened in the two weeks since the last episode, but this time they mean it, they really, really do. Because it has been too much. When you try to drill down into it, you find there is no it and no drill and you've just been falling while pretending to drill like a CHUMP.

    But that won't stop Dan and Maureen. Why would they stop? Or did they mean to say why wouldn't they stop? lol. That's a Trump joke. Everything is funny now.

    Obviously, this is serious business so Dan and Maureen get right down to it with no hesitation. Right to the most important story of the past two weeks. We all know what that is. No need to even say it. Before it's all over, we'll talk about bad spying, Michael Cohen, Carter Page, and about what words mean. And pie. There's a whole bunch of stuff about pie. So many pies.

    Oh, and Russia and how the President is probably utterly compromised but hey, pie!

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    Ep. 54: INTO THE WOODS

    What's that sound coming from the trees? Why, it's Dan and Maureen, emerging in podcast form! Maureen was in England, doing more marriage things. She was in the English woods, where the WiFi is not so good. (Hence the delayed episode.) Dan is almost three weeks into his Airstream tour of America.

    So what have our travelers learned? Well, while Maureen was in England, it decided to fall apart. Brexit is not going well, and the government is splintering. England is also preparing for Trump's visit with a giant balloon!

    Meanwhile, Dan reflects on our nation from campsites and national parks. What is life like in a big metal box? Pretty good, as it turns out! Both Dan and Maureen are in a better mood than the last episode, but that is in Trump-adjusted terms. Also, both of them have a lot of mosquito bites.

    But what HAS been happening? The Supreme Court lost a justice, and the nominee is a spendy weirdo. Scott Pruitt, America's griftiest grifter, has been forced to leave office for the dumbest reason possible. Stormy Daniels is busted by the Boob Detectives on shady boob charges. Trump has a bad meet cute with NATO. And Maureen has another MONEYMAKER idea that cannot fail.

    The woods of Sayswhovia are lovely, dark, and deep. Follow us. Take our hand. Come into the trees. It's better in here. You'll never want to leave.

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    Yodelheeehoooo! Put on your hat because it's time for another trip up Bullshit Mountain with your pals Maureen and Dan. Both Maureen and Dan have done good Life Things in the last two weeks, but news gotta new and it continues to break headlines and spirits. Maureen is now married. Dan is cruising around America in a sweet airstream trailer. Trump is ripping families apart.

    While this episode was being recorded, news of the Muslim Ban broke in, so there is real time reaction. How do we do good things while bad things keep happening? This is a topic we keep coming back to.

    But there is wedding talk as well. Did Sam and Carter show up to grab Maureen before she could wed? Can Dan outrun current events by dragging his house behind a car? And what role did Blue Apron play in the events of the last week?

    Oh, and Melania's jacket. Yeah. Melania's jacket.

    Grab a buddy, Sayswhovians. We're starting the climb.

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    Ep. 52: BRIDE OF SAYS WHO with Peter Sagal

    DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG! It's WEDDING TIME at Says Who! Maureen is getting married and everything is fine. She has everything ready to go, nothing weird is happening in the world, and...

    Well, no. It's not exactly like that. But she is getting married. And so is guest Peter Sagal of NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! Peter drops in to talk about hoping, coping, and making the news funny when everything is a raging garbage fire. Oh, and weddings! Peter is getting married first, so he wins. There's some real talk about depression and anxiety, but also the joy that is still everywhere. No really, it is!

    Also, Maureen's boyfriends plot to kidnap her at the altar! Will Sam and Carter crash the wedding? Who will be the Bride of Says Who?

    While all of this is going on, Trump has a summit with North Korea. Did you know you can bring your own toilet to a summit? You totally can! Can! Get it? CAN.

    Meanwhile, Dan, who is not getting married, is getting ready to go on a SUMMER ROAD TRIP all over America. Is he trying to escape? How far will be get? What will he eat? These are all things Maureen wants to know. It makes Dan nervous. Or maybe Dan is nervous because Trump is meeting alone with Kim Jong Un. It's hard to say what makes Dan nervous anymore.

    This week's Says Who is the romcom you have waited for. Get your popcorn and tissues, and bring your toilet, if you want.

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    Summer summer summer! It’s here! Time for sand, sun, fun, and cooking s’mores on the dying embers of democracy and our sanity!

    Dan and Maureen convene once again to take stock of what is happening to all of our minds. Why, for example, is our President pointing at an Invisible Melania? How do we respond when we’re straight-up told that Spygate is made up? Whither the bag o’phones?

    Nothing makes sense. Which is why it’s time to choose our own summer adventure. Dan tells a story about wrestling. Maureen also tells a story about wrestling, then she talks of her loves: Carter Page and Sam Numberg. Who will be her summer romance? Can you mail a cucumber? Seriously, where is Melania? Can’t you see her? She’s right there, in the window! Look closely!

    Summer is here, Says Whovia. This time, we will be ready.

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    It was never supposed to be this way. Says Who, the little eight-episode podcast, is now on its 50th EPISODE! FIFTY!

    Dan has returned from Disney and has tales of Dole Whip and the Haunted Mansion. Maureen did not go to Disney and has tales of being at home watching the news, which mostly means watching Rudy Giuliani do whatever it is Rudy Giuliani does.

    What have we learned over the course of 50 Says Whos? How are we coping? What would we tell our past selves? And how can we get a sponsor?

    All of these things and MORE on THE BIG 5-0!

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    Hey hey hey! It's the cast from the past! This week, Dan is at DisneyWorld and Maureen is not. Because Dan is at the Happiest Place on Earth, this podcast was recorded early. So you know things we don't! No spoilers!

    This episode, we answer your questions. How did we know Michael Cohen would be such a star? How do you get through the day when things get hard? Will Maureen's wedding be broadcast on PBS? What do we do first at DisneyWorld? So many questions. We'll tell you our answers, and you can tell us how things are going.

    Last one to the Haunted Mansion has to be Trump's new lawyer!

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    Ep. 48: TAINT GOOD

    Says Whovians, we've been waiting for this moment for all our lives. Mr "Says Who" himself, Trump lawyer Michael Cohen, burst into the news this week. And it wasn't just a one-and-done kinda thing. Nope, Maureen's original boyfriend came with all the plot twists and surprise reveals of a good mystery novel. Dan can barely even speak, Maureen's love is rekindled, and they both dig down deep to sort out the ups and downs of one of the most upside-down weeks yet. Good gravy.

    But then. Then they get to the "Taint Team" and the metaphor for exactly this moment in history that you never knew you wanted, and probably still don't.

    We're sorry. We're so sorry.

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    Are you looking for work? Have you considered the White House? They've got some openings and don't seem to check qualifications, so why not. Maureen and Dan earn their podcast living today by looking at the recent upheaval at the White House and discuss the weird jobs that they've had that maybe make them just as qualified as the rest of these jokers. I mean, it couldn't be worse than working in a haunted restaurant right?

    Plus, Maureen and Dan take it to the maxx by talking about the March for Our Lives and Stormy Daniels, the two stories that have managed to break through the chaos tornado that is the White House AND the two stories that have Trump scared enough to actually show Twitter discipline. How is it possible? Maureen and Dan are on the case.

    All this plus for some reason Maureen is in Philadelphia and a Raccoon comes a'callin.

    Says Who: We're workin the late shift... of America.

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    Ep. 46: GOOD GRAVY

    Dan and Maureen are sleepy. Very sleepy. They would like a nap. There has been too much 2018 this week. But in SaysWhovia, we sleep in 2019, at Disneyworld.

    What have we learned in the last two weeks? We learned that Rex Tillerson uses a toilet, that Trump's lawyers are the weirdest people in the world, that Russia is acting like a serial killer in a movie, that you don't fire a guy the day before he retires, and you never play games with Stormy Daniels. Also, Dan has a new catchphrase! And we have a new sponsor!

    Says Who: we'll stay awake with you.

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