Says Who?

Are you looking for some friendly company to help you through the hell that we find ourselves in after the 2016 election? Dan Sinker and Maureen Johnson—one journalist and one author—try to figure out what the hell is going on. Maybe, together, they can figure it out (spoiler alert: probably not)! Why not grab your coffee (or something stronger) and pull up a chair?

SAYS WHO: it's not a podcast—it's a coping strategy.

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    Hey hey hey! It's the cast from the past! This week, Dan is at DisneyWorld and Maureen is not. Because Dan is at the Happiest Place on Earth, this podcast was recorded early. So you know things we don't! No spoilers!

    This episode, we answer your questions. How did we know Michael Cohen would be such a star? How do you get through the day when things get hard? Will Maureen's wedding be broadcast on PBS? What do we do first at DisneyWorld? So many questions. We'll tell you our answers, and you can tell us how things are going.

    Last one to the Haunted Mansion has to be Trump's new lawyer!

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    Ep. 48: TAINT GOOD

    Says Whovians, we've been waiting for this moment for all our lives. Mr "Says Who" himself, Trump lawyer Michael Cohen, burst into the news this week. And it wasn't just a one-and-done kinda thing. Nope, Maureen's original boyfriend came with all the plot twists and surprise reveals of a good mystery novel. Dan can barely even speak, Maureen's love is rekindled, and they both dig down deep to sort out the ups and downs of one of the most upside-down weeks yet. Good gravy.

    But then. Then they get to the "Taint Team" and the metaphor for exactly this moment in history that you never knew you wanted, and probably still don't.

    We're sorry. We're so sorry.

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    Are you looking for work? Have you considered the White House? They've got some openings and don't seem to check qualifications, so why not. Maureen and Dan earn their podcast living today by looking at the recent upheaval at the White House and discuss the weird jobs that they've had that maybe make them just as qualified as the rest of these jokers. I mean, it couldn't be worse than working in a haunted restaurant right?

    Plus, Maureen and Dan take it to the maxx by talking about the March for Our Lives and Stormy Daniels, the two stories that have managed to break through the chaos tornado that is the White House AND the two stories that have Trump scared enough to actually show Twitter discipline. How is it possible? Maureen and Dan are on the case.

    All this plus for some reason Maureen is in Philadelphia and a Raccoon comes a'callin.

    Says Who: We're workin the late shift... of America.

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    Ep. 46: GOOD GRAVY

    Dan and Maureen are sleepy. Very sleepy. They would like a nap. There has been too much 2018 this week. But in SaysWhovia, we sleep in 2019, at Disneyworld.

    What have we learned in the last two weeks? We learned that Rex Tillerson uses a toilet, that Trump's lawyers are the weirdest people in the world, that Russia is acting like a serial killer in a movie, that you don't fire a guy the day before he retires, and you never play games with Stormy Daniels. Also, Dan has a new catchphrase! And we have a new sponsor!

    Says Who: we'll stay awake with you.

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    What light is this? What strange sparks? Why, it is a train of goons! Goons!

    This week, Dan and Maureen gaze in wonder and awe at the universe of 2018. This two week period began with Marco Rubio getting nailed in his big, dumb face at the CNN town hall and it ended with a beautiful trail of sparks as one of the brightest lights in the sky flew past. Yes. Sam Nunberg, a.k.a. Mr. Maureen Johnson, entered our lives. We need to grab this comet by the tail and ride.

    Did other things happen? Sure they did. But it's Sam Nunberg we will always remember. Sam Nunberg does not want to give all of his emails since November 1 2015 to the Special Prosecutor and he will tell you so in this Says Whosterpiece Theater re-enactment. Of the many Trump goons, this one is special. Let Sam Nunberg into your heart. Let him in. Sam would like to come in. Sam will go anywhere and say anything. Come fall in love with Sam.

    Oh yeah, and everyone else quit. But whatever. SAM NUNBERG!

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    Ep. 44: A CASE OF THE WHOOPSIES IN THE PANTSIES with Ashley Feinberg

    There's a lot to wrestle with these last couple weeks. There's the awful, heartbreaking news that came out of Parkland Florida. There's the surprise indictments by Robert Mueller. There's the continued awful sh*tposting from Trump in Florida. And then there's a news report that Maureen was perhaps born for: That the government is proposing creating a "Blue Apron-type program" to replace food stamps. How terrible an idea is that? Let Maureen take you there (if Dan will let her).

    In addition to struggling with the news, Dan and Maureen are joined by Ashley Feinberg, a reporter who has taken reading the Trump family social media accounts to a whole 'nother level. Who's dissing who through passive-aggressively forgetting their birthday? Just which Trump kid is the dumbest? Just what is going on with Trump's hair? We ask a literal, actual expert. Really!

    Hold on to something because it gets a little bumpy. It's the new Says Who!

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    Ep. 43: IN MEMO-RIAM with Spencer Ackerman

    Maureen and Dan have had a busy couple of weeks, not because they've been keeping up with the news--the memo stuff has admittedly been pretty confusing--but because they've been making things. Maureen has a book out and Dan just launched a Kickstarter and they spend some time talking about how hard it is to actually make things right now with the whole world amped up to 11. Come for the conversation about creation, stay for the dog completely losing her sh*t in the middle of it.

    Now about that memo: Maureen and Dan weren't kidding about being confused, so they recruited an expert in national security and secret courts to explain it to them. Spencer Ackerman from the Daily Beast joins the podcast to help us understand what The Memo means, where things stand right now, and maybe to freak Dan out a little about the potential collapse of civilization. But it's fine, probably.

    Take a memo because there's a lot, it's the new Says Who!

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    Maureen has been away on a tour for her new book and hasn't been keeping up with events. What has been going on? Dan has been keeping up with events from hospital waiting rooms and from his basement in Chicago and he is... not handling it well. It's been the most Trumpy two weeks of all time.

    What's on the menu? Shithole countries, fake photo ops, 22 minutes of trying to mute a call, a missile warning in Hawaii, MLK day spent on the golf course, Starburstgate, a cognitive test, a question of height, the Fake News Awards, the Women's March, the government shutdown...

    ...oh, and Stormy Daniels. So much Stormy Daniels.

    This episode may be hazardous to your health. Luckily, the doctor is in. Take a seat. Doctor Chill MD will see you shortly.

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    Ep. 41: THE SAYS WHO BOOK CLUB with Eve Peyser

    Greetings book lovers! Grab a bag of Big Macs and Fillets o Fish and join us over here in the book nook because things get pretty literary this week. First off Maureen has a NEW BOOK and you should pick it up. But Maureen's not the only author with a new book in stores, nope. Michael Wolff's Trump tell-allish Fire and Fury came out this week and Maureen and Dan forced themselves through it so that you don't have to. Really. You don't have to.

    Not the hoity-toity literary type? Don't worry because this episode we're also joined by Vice politics reporter Eve Peyser who lived like Donald Trump for a day: 12 diet cokes, a pile of Big Macs, golf, and angry tweeting. We sit down to find out what she learned (and how she lived).

    So grab a burger and a book and join us for the Says Who Book Club.

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    Ep. 40: Potty Magnet New Years

    Dan and Maureen come together by the fire at the end of December to ring out the old year and welcome the new (DEAR GOD YES PLEASE THE NEW). They show 2017 the door with much less patience than Maureen explaining the pee tape to her mother while at the bank, which, yes, happened. This because of a truck with a window decal that decidedly did not read "potty magnet".

    But this episode isn't just about shedding the curse of 2017, it's also about talking about what's been learned and how it's changed the way we're thinking about 2018. Sayswhovians, we're not gonna lie: things get earnest. But why shouldn't they: we made it through 2017 and we've gotta live 2018 to the maxx.

    But it's not all days of future past, Trump is now officially in the Disney Hall of Presidents--perhaps the most Sayswhovian of news updates--and though Dan and Maureen have long dreaded the day that robot was turned on, it turns out that the Imagineers at Disney had something wonderful in store! They were not going down without a fight. They inspire us to go into 2018 TO THE MAXX.

    Oh and also: someone's getting married (hint: it's not the Trump robot)!

    So come sit with us and let's tell each other wonderful tales of the holiday season, SaysWhovians!

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